Food For Thought: Learn How To Park, #&%@head!
My mother, The Split Personality Eater (SPE), has certain limitations with motor vehicles. Years ago, my brother-in-law, unable to drive due to an injury, had to ride shotgun with my mother from New York City to Pennsylvania. That journey so rattled him that fifteen years later he does not permit his children to drive with her.
And parking is not SPE’s strong suit.
But still we were all amazed when she showed us the note that she’d found tacked under her windshield wiper. It said, “Learn how to park, &#%@head!”
Really?
Who would go to the trouble to find piece of a paper and a magic marker, to scribble a note, adding the expletive, and then to vacate his or her warm car, to step into the cold, and to tack the letter to a stranger’s car?
Now we didn’t see the park job. SPE claims innocence as the lot was a gravel area with no designated spaces.
But still.
There’s a lot of meanness in the world. Everybody is shouting at each other. The politicians are ranting. Facebook is full of nastiness. Watch the news and you’ll start to believe the sky is falling.
But there is an antidote.
It’s called The Compliment Game and it’s wonderful for Sunday dinner conversation. Here’s how you play: each guest gives one compliment to each person at the table. At first, the game is hard and feels awkward. Why is it difficult to be nice, especially to the people to whom we are the closest? But soon something magical begins to happen. Everybody can’t wait to receive their compliments. It’s fun to play with a group of friends, too—maybe at your Book-Of-The-Month or Dinner Club.
Who knew The Grazer thought his sister, The Well-Adjusted Eater, was a good student and, in turn, that she was proud of her brother’s athleticism? Recently during a long road trip with a dear friend and both of our daughters, I introduced the game to her family. I still pause in the gift of kind words my friend gave me.
It feels good to give compliments—so good that you might want to take it a step farther. Set the alarm on your phone for two times during the day. When the alarm sounds, stop what you’re doing and give someone a compliment. Try this for a week. The world starts to look like a better place.
And the next time you see a really bad park job, refrain. It might be my mom.
Thought For The Week:
Leo Buscaglia said, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
#kindnessrocks
Let me know how your family likes the Compliment Game.
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Read the first three chapters of my novel, WHAT THE VALLEY KNOWS, for free HERE. Or just rush to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Black Rose Writing and buy the book. Happy reading!
xoxo,
Heather
Very impressed that you were able to get teens to play the compliment game! Can’t wait to try this recipe.
Heather,
I used a version of this game when I was teaching HS students at the Berks County Youth Center (BCYC). I called it “The Compliment Can.” My roster of students changed daily as my students were adjudicated youth, so every day I would place each student’s name in the can (along w/one that had my name & “staff” as we had corrections officers in my classroom as well. Each morning during my opening daily routine I would have each student pick a name from the can. If they got their own name they had the choice to give themselves a compliment or toss their name back in and choose another one. Sometimes the kids would say, “I just got the new kid’s name and I don’t even know him!” I said to myself, what a teachable moment! I then explained that we don’t need to know people to give compliments. We can give anyone a compliment, even a stranger on the street. They agreed and continued on. When I would get need students, I would have a veteran student explain the game to them. It was so cool because I had rules when giving a compliment to someone…you say their name, look them in the eye, say something nice, and the receiver simply says thank you. I was also reinforcing social skills and trying to get these “tough” kids to be more compassionate at the same time. It worked like a charm! One day when we had time constraints, I didn’t do the “Compliment Can” and my students were begging for it. The one girl told me she absolutely needed it that particular day because of something going on in her life. From that day forward I realized the importance of it with my students and we never missed a day after that. Oh, the power of positive words!
I look forward to my cup of coffee Sunday mornings almost as much as reading your blog!! I have known you since the day you were born and feel like family to all of you. Your Mom and I have been best of friends for almost 50 years. She is starting to catch on that most of us in our “close circle” always offer to drive. But, we love her. Any friend who would ride a bus over 50 hours for a visit is THE BEST!!
Heather, you are successful in all you do, you make us proud.
Very good recipe ! Even better: the Compliment Game !
And have experienced firsthand the SPE parking woes.
We do love that woman !!!
Love the compliment game! Will suggest it to my family!!!
I set a compliment reminder on my iphone for three times per day. I need to recommit to make sure I get in three per day! My daughters love hearing sincere compliments about something
(little or big) they have done…I try to stick to compliments that are about behaviors/actions as opposed to physical appearance 🙂 Thanks for the great idea. Hopefully, complimenting those around us comes naturally, but it is still nice to have the daily reminder!
We fully admit that we had stolen this idea from a movie: My kids and I would start each dinner with what was the ‘best part’ of the day. And, yes, if there were a ‘worst part’, we tackled that, as well.
Your blog always gives me food for thought!
What another enjoyable read Heather! Your blogs keep getting better and better every week. It would be fun to see the Republican candidates try the compliment game?!
Good /fun read Heather😀 I m going to try this in the kindergarten tomorrow.
Loved playing the compliment game at dinner.
Such insights you are sharing with the world on a weekly basis. We are all the better for it. Keep ’em coming.