When you ask a child “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” she most likely responds with alacrity.
A rockstar.
A doctor.
An US National Team soccer player.
A super hero.
A vet.
Children slid with ease into who they want to be. They play make-believe in the back yard, flying like Wonder Woman on the trampoline, singing like Taylor Swift with the Wii microphone, and shooting phantom World Cup winning goals like Mia Hamm.
They are confident.
I suspect that some of these children maintain this unshakeable sense of their purpose here on earth. They know who they want to be and they gracefully execute their intent as they enter adulthood.
That was not me.
It’s been a long road trying to figure out who I want to be.
As a teenager I dreamed of being a model.
I was delusional.
I am 5’3”.
Nevertheless, I headed to New York City to attend college and to try to make a go of it. I had mild success, booking ads for Runners’ World magazine, Coca Cola, and Teen Magazine, and some others, but soon realized I was chasing the impossible. Plus, I was sick of constant snubs.Your butt is too big! Your hair is too thin! Your eye color isn’t right.
Time for Plan B.
Lots of short girls are actors, right?
I acquired a hot shot talent manager and hit the pavement, going on audition after audition. (Again, I had some success. I landed a part as a day player on the soap Another World and screen-tested for a major role on As The World Turns.)
But then wham-bam-thank-you-mam, I fell in love and moved to Texas to marry my sweetheart.
Maybe I wanted to see the world.
Sure, that was it. I’d be an international flight attendant. But the airline I worked for went out of business and stranded a crew in South Africa.
Then I decided I’d get my PhD in English.
What, I need two foreign languages?
Forget that.
Maybe I’ll be a cosmetic executive. Clinique Cosmetics was a fine company, but I hated working for someone else.
Settled. I’ll sell houses.
Fifteen years and 500 houses later, I was still asking myself, “Who do I want to be when I grow up?”
And then a friend self-published a book.
Hmm. That was interesting. Something sparked inside of me.
I sat down and started writing.
The muse whispered:
Molly lay splayed facedown, her arm twisted behind her back, sharp pain searing through her right shoulder. Chilly rain stung her cheek and blurred her vision. Her hair stuck to her neck matted with bits of glass, dirt, and blood.
Holy cow! Where did that come from?
But I kept writing. And writing.
Now five years later I have an MFA in Creative Writing, a completed novel, the start of my second novel, an agent who is trying to sell the darn thing to a real publishing house, this blog, and pieces that are getting syndicated (oh, and I’m still selling those houses!).
A writer.
Yes, that is who I want to be. It just took me a long time to figure it out.
I am frantically trying to play catch up. In moments of doubt, I think I’ve gone off my rocker.
I’m too late.
I’m too old.
Malcolm Gladwell says it takes a 10,000 hours to master anything. Who am I kidding?
But something pretty neat has happened and it’s given me a bit of confidence to charge ahead. As I’ve spilled my guts all over the page, other women have begun whispering their hopes and dreams to me.
I took up horse-backing riding.
I’m becoming a Vegan cook.
I’ve decided to pursue my PhD.
I’m starting an online magazine.
When another woman shares a piece of who she wants to be with me, my heart lifts.
We’re not crazy.
We’re making this life count, being true to ourselves. We are growing into who we are meant to be. We are alive and living. Often times, I get so excited I fear one life might not be enough time to do all the writing I want to do.
I finally know who I want to be.
It’s exhilarating.
Who do you want to be?
Whatever it is, I’ve got your back. And I bet a lot of other women do, too.
Let’s not be afraid to tell each other.
You, go girl!
Thought For The Week:
I would rather die of passion than of boredom.
—Vincent van Gogh
I took a picture of this van Gogh while visiting
the Yale University Museum.
Who do you want to be?
Are you living it?
P.S. That novel!!! It’s now a reality! Read the first three chapters of WHAT THE VALLEY KNOWS, HERE. I hope you love it enough to want to buy the book. Find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Black Rose Writing. Happy reading!
“A taut, compelling family tale.” Kirkus Reviews
Till next time,
Heather 🙂
Good to see you are accumulating your 10,00 hours in writing . Look forward to your blog every sunday morning
Thanks!
So inspirational. I’d bet most people have the same varied trajectory. What I really loved too was your phrase “who” do you want to be. We tend to think of “what” with that question, but it really is “who.” I’m glad you’ve figured it out and are making it work. I’ve finally figured it out too but now have to fit in those 10,000 hours. Help!
Lisa, you are well on your way! We’re all “doing time” on our craft. We’ll get there! Keep writing!
I look forward to reading your blog on Sunday mornings now Heather. Thanks!!
Thanks, Tina. Your kind words warm my heart. Have a happy Sunday!
Wonderful article! I recently retired from teaching, and now I am trying to figure out, ‘who I want to be’.
Lisa, what a fun and exciting place to be in your life! The possibilities are endless. I am hopeful you find something that fills your heart and soul with crazy passion. Thanks for reading!
Thanks, Troy! You are a great support.
I only figured it out at 36 myself. Better late than never!
Well, you were six years ahead of me! I think it finally clicked at 41 for me.
Excellent Sunday read, once again!
I have always been jealous of those who have found their place, the ‘who’ they are, early in life. But the older I get, the more I realize as long as you are happy and do allow yourself to get trapped in a place you cannot continue grow from, you are on the right path afterall.
Darla, you’re so right! You are an inspiration to me. Thanks for reading the blog.
Awesome Heather. I want to be a writer when I grow up too.
Liv, that would be great! The more writers, the better.
Always a joy to read your blogs! I always knew what I wanted to be from the time I was ten years old! I consider myself lucky to have chosen a career that I still love, and have no regrets.
Lynn, you are lucky to have known your path from a young age. Kudos!
Quite extraordinary that my husband and I were discussing this topic (in a round about way) while we drove to Sittler’s to play miniature golf this evening.
I asked him if he missed having our children around. He thought I meant Andrew who just moved out last year at the age of 30, but I meant kiddies. I miss the parent / baby, toddler, tween, teen relationship I had with my two sons.
I am melancholy to find myself in this transition. I loved (love) being a mom. So much of my life was wrapped around my children. Double fold since my husband drove truck and was out of town for days on end with no cell phone. HAHAH – yep no way to even get ahold of him in my times of need.
The words “sit and wait until your father gets home”, never came out of my mouth. What kid could sit for 10 days on a chair and wait for their father to come home?
As I ruminate through my book of life I recall; first chair in band, writing for the EXETER ECHO, travel agent, waitress, fashionista at work, assistant buyer in gifts and jewelry at Whitner’s Department Store on Penn Street in Reading, copy writer, radiology technician, mammography, stereotactic tech, real estate agent, notary, property owner, quilter, designer, OKAY STOP !!! I am hurting my own head.
My husband retired last year and he is home all the time. YAHOO.
I think a lot about placing my real estate license in escrow. I’m more of a team player rather than flying solo and I can’t seem to make the team concept a reality.
I am so creative I sometimes think I will explode. Jibber jabber ~
I am definitely at a huge impasse in my life. As doors close and windows open I am sure of only one truth – I am a child of GOD. That is who I am.
Cathy, thanks for sharing this lovely testament. It will be fun to see what you do next with your many talents.
Good for you! I started to write a bit at 66 years old. A few years into it, I find myself spewing or tongue tied. I admire your tenacity!
I believe one of great joys of my life is the desire to grow, learn, and discover all of the ‘whos’ I am and can be!
You are going, Girl.
Thanks, Geri! As far as writing goes, I just make myself do it even when I don’t feel like it. Not everything I write is good, but at least I’m logging time. As I study successful writers, I find the same theme reoccurring: just write! I admire women like you who are continually striving to grow, learn, & discover new manifestations of themselves!
Great blog heather. As you know I really connect with this topic. I’m so impressed by your perseverance and drive.
Thanks, Aimee! Who do you want to be?
I am looking forward to a signed copy of your novel- that’s who I will be – the first person standing in the book signing line.
Aww, Cathy!! You’ve made my day. Thank you for your support!
Loved reading this Heather! I have often said that most Realtors end up in real estate because they are still trying to figure out who they want to be when they grow up. It’s not really far from the truth. I know, I’m one of those people for sure. However, I’m getting closer everyday to who I want to be. The first thing that occurred to me is, not caring about what anyone else thinks about your choice. We tend to be taught that we need to pick a major in college that will equate to getting a good, steady, aka normal job. That is akin to trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole. Some of us are not cut out for a “normal” job. However, we soar when engaged in doing something we love. As my son inches closer to college, I feel a certain freedom to start fresh and allow myself to dream big, again. We are all born with certain gifts. Some gifts are valued more than others in a conventional workplace. My sincere hope for the future, is we have far less conventional workplaces and therefore more unconventional people can bring thier unique gifts to the table and help businesses soar like never before!
In the meantime, I will be looking at life with the eyes of a child. Children love completely and see possibilities everywhere. Sometimes, it’s a good thing to not “grow up”.
I know how you feel, Judy! As the kids get closer to flying into their own lives, I find myself thinking about what I want the rest of my life to look like. I know it includes writing. And yes, real estate is a wonderful career that allows us to do many different things and still earn a living.
Mom, this is an amazing blog!!
This is really inspirational. Thanks for sharing! It touches on a common theme for many of us. My husband and I have lots of dinner discussions about what our next chapter in life will look like (what we want to be when we grow up:) Great piece! Keep going! You have found your calling!
Thanks, Inky!
Again…teared up while reading your blog. Love it. Very proud of you!
Thanks, Molly ❤️💕‼️
That is a question I think many people ask themselves everyday- That is a question I need to think about! Thanks I love reading your Blog every week- Keep doing a great job!
I recently started following you on Facebook. It’s so nice to see that you are a normal every day person with similar doubts and fears like everyone else. Your writing style is very easy to follow and enjoyable. I look forward to being on your email list.
Thx Heather