Every mother thinks that her child is the most beautiful kid in the world, right?
I am no different.
And I as a young mom, I aimed to prove it.
My plan was for my son to be a model and then a child star.
I figured he could rake in the big bucks and save enough money to pay for his college tuition before he entered the second grade. Plus, I could live vicariously through him. Maybe I’d never made it to the big time in the modeling world, but he would! I pictured him in a Gap Kids ad. Or maybe it was Toys R Us.
So when he was in kindergarten, I took him to New York City for a professional photo shoot with my brother (his uncle) who was a working model. The photo session was like a big, fantastic play date. Together with my brother, my son played wiffle ball on a high-rise rooftop almost close enough to touch the Empire State Building with the Manhattan skyline as a backdrop.
Click!
Snap!
His pictures were fantastic!
He quickly landed an agent and his first modeling job. Ha!
The pay was $125/hour for a Mother’s Day department store ad.
My plans were falling right into place.
I was so excited.
But.
You know five-year old boys hate to wear nice clothing? And tucking a cardboard tag into their waistline against bare skin is paramount to a natural disaster?
The day of the booking I was a little nervous.
I should have been terrified.
My sweet son refused to smile. He squinted so that his eyes were like two slits. He crunched up his nose. Dug his hands in his pocket. Hid behind the woman who was posed as his mother. He stopped speaking.
I squeezed his hand. You have to smile for the camera, I said.
I hate this. He glared at me. I want to go home.
I started to sweat.
The little boy is not cooperating, I heard the photographer whisper to his assistant.
Somehow we got through the session. We left immediately. I was convinced the ad would have to be reshot.
But that’s not the worse part.
The next day, my son started to pee every five minutes.
I was sure he had a urinary tract infection.
No, the doctor said. He’s fine.
His kindergarten teacher called to express her concern.
He’s going to the bathroom every three minutes.
Something wasn’t right!
At home, I tried to not to pay too much attention to his constant trips to the bathroom, but I was growing more and more concerned.
Online I found, “Frequent urination in children reflects emotional tension. It means your child is under pressure. The symptom is involuntary, not deliberate. The urinary frequency may begin within 1-2 days of a stressful event or change in the child’s routine.” (read more here)
Pollakiuria—Frequent Daytime Urination
Oh my God! My modeling wish had screwed up my kid. I’d given him an anxiety disorder.
I’d made him crazy!
The treatment: Identify stressful emotional trigger and remove it. Ignore the frequency of the urination. Talk to the child and let him know it will never happen again. Parents should not worry; the frequent urination will likely spontaneously resolve.
Please, just stop peeing! I wanted to scream.
Instead, I terminated the modeling agency contract. I promised my son he’d never have to do another photo shoot. The whole family ignored his constant bathroom trips.
In time, things returned to normal.
He never did another modeling job.
This tear sheet is the sole evidence of his dip into show business.
Most adults I know are in therapy, trying to recover from their childhoods. I hope that my son refusing to smile for photographs is the only lasting side effect of his modeling foray. And that he’ll have one less thing to see the shrink about when he’s older.
Thought For The Week:
A wise woman once said to me that there are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these she said is roots, the other, wings.
—Hodding Carter
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Read the first three chapters of my debut novel, WHAT THE VALLEY KNOWS, HERE. I hope you love it enough to want to buy the book. Find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Black Rose Writing. Happy reading!
“A taut, compelling family tale.” Kirkus Reviews
Till next time,
Heather 🙂
There will be a day, when his son is 5, that you will be able to use this as a teaching moment for his parenting decisions! Life’s way to keep it all balanced!!!
Agreed, Darla! Thanks for reading and commenting.
I hope you take all of these wonderful posts about parenting and put them into a book that all young parents (existing or hopeful) can read to prepare (at least a little). Yes, there’s no true instruction book on parenting, and every kid, situation and response is unique. But had I known that there was a real-life disorder like this, I may not have forced so many activities on my own kids. Thankfully they grew up to be independent, strong-willed self advocates. I still try to help them see the value in “trying” new things but never force them and once they’ve tried it, I back off (with some dialogue of course to help them reflect on why they stick with it or why aren’t continuing). Thanks for sharing.
Lisa, the modeling fiasco taught me a lot. Sometimes it’s just so hard when we know what’s right for our kids, but they still need to figure it out on their own.
I love that your son wouldn’t smile. I think he was brave. Luckily, you’re a good parent who was able to understand and handle the problem!
As a single parent, I say thank goodness for therapy! Probably more for me than for them. I want to add LOL, because I am now, but wasn’t then. As I might have said before, my kids have turned into great adults, who, nonetheless, still like to remind me: “Remember, when you did that, Ma?”
In retrospect, my son’s refusal to smile in the face of a situation that made him uncomfortable was the beginning of him learning how to communicate his wants. Thank goodness, I dropped it!
I remember this modeling trauma very well! I’m glad it is something to look back on and have a good chuckle now 🙂 We all want the best for our children and it is difficult to know exactly when to push and when to back off. All the advice in the world probably wouldn’t change the inevitable rookie parenting mistakes we have made and will continue to make…live and learn. Now that we are knee deep into the teenage years, it does make one long for the frequent urination problems of yesterday!
Yes, sometimes I want to jump in a time machine and zip back ten years to give those little kids an extra hug!!
I never knew that about Cole. I like reading your blog every week, I learn something new every time. Thanks for the information!
Denise, I am so glad you read my posts each week! I love your comments!
Soon fun to read this…especially knowing teenage Cole😂
Thanks, Sue. It was fun to write and remember “the modeling incident” now that it is in the distant past.
……..and he still doesn’t smile for pics!😂 …….but neither do most teenage boys……..none of them seem to have trouble with frequent urination so I think we are good! OMG…..I so remember that hair cut!
I know, it’s “crazy” that these boys are “too cool” to smile! I can’t wait until they’re fathers, too. It will be fun to watch.
Love your blogs!
Thanks, Lynn! I am so glad you enjoy reading my posts. Thanks for your support.